Today, in downtown Seattle, I saw a woman wearing a Blossom hat. All I can say to that is: whoa!
But, really, what compels someone to don a burgundy wide-brimmed, crushed-velvet hat with a giant flower on top? Last I checked it was not, indeed, 1991, and while flannel shirts never really left the Pacific Northwest, I’m willing to bet the Blossom hat did. I’ve seen them in thrift stores lonely next to bullet belts (that I’m tempted to buy) and fringed scarves with neon plastic beads (that I’m not). Who’s to say the hipsters won’t bring the Blossom hat back, too, though, along with the upholstery fabric flowered vest? I shudder to think. Really, people. Are we all going to start wearing our clothes backwards, too? (Yay! Kris Kross!)
The thing is, I saw Blossom (a.k.a. Mayim Bialik) on TLC’s What Not To Wear last week and, post makeover, she looked great. Even before Stacey and Clinton put her in heels, girl had more of a boho/mom/Phish-fan style than an I-graduated-high-school-in-1992-and-gave-up ensemble. Even Blossom ditched the hats.
It didn’t look good then, and no matter how ironically you wear it, it won’t look good now. And also: you’re not hanging out in a sitcom bedroom with your friend Six. You’re heading home from your administrative job at the county. And we expect at least J.C. Penney from that.
